2 Weeks

Till my court date. I really don't know how to feel about the subject. It kills me thinking about it. I really wish I wasn't with Kristen because I know what she has to put up with. Her boyfriend in jail for more than 3 months will be painful for her. She said she would wait but I highly doubt it. Hopefully her depression doesn't ge the best of her. I don't want her hurting others or herself just because I'm locked up. It hurts me when she says everything is going to be alright. I know it won't. I have a strong feeling about it. I stopped caring about my parents. Seems like they don't care if I go or not. I've always had a father who neglected me since I was little. A mother who cared and would kill if anyone ever hurt me. She told me 2 days ago she didn't care if they put me away. It would be for my own good. I just stayed quiet. The only reason I don't want to go is because of Kristen. She basically means everything to right now and she doesn't even know it. It seems like an obsession but it's more than that. Thinking about a girl you love and how I can't be there for her birthday, when she's happy or when she's drowning in her sorrow. It's sucks. 4 months and I couldn't raise my grades. I've failed my parents and Kristen. But the reality is I've just failed myself. Goodnight.