A New Year

There's not much I can say about this lonely night. My parents have left and to a celebration in El Monte and I've taken the choice of staying home alone. 2011 has been a year of trying to find myself. Many lonesome nights just thinking of the same thing over and over. The year started with me on a bed, half drunk with one of my exes and tonight it ends with with me walking down Hollywood Boulevard, smoking a black and mild and with sirens around me. There is not much that I did this year besides gain a lot of enemies. I don't really hate or dislike people I just tend to avoid them. Don't see the point of wasting my human emotions on another human. My high school is a wasteland of teenage hormones going into action in the hallways and peer pressure trying to converge on many of the students I attend with. My household hasn't changed much. Everyday there is either an argument with my mother and I still avoid trying to make contact with my father. I've grown and addiction to alcohol and cigarettes. Even though I know I have to quit soon I still manage to find myself smoking every weekend. I don't plan a resolution for this upcoming year. Resolutions are for pussies that can't be honest with themselves. I don't even recall last year's resolution. I don't plan to change, that's for certain. What's the point of changing if I might not see the light of tomorrow. All I can say for now is fuck 2011 and fuck 2012. Bring on the new year and live your life like there is no tomorrow.